Mum’s realisation after son’s diagnosis: ‘I shouldn’t have been in denial’

Sarah Parker put the majority of her struggles down to a traumatic childhood. Food was scarce and her parents struggled to make ends meet.
Parker, 36, grew up in Ferntree Gully in Victoria. The family ate foods that were “easy to stretch”, like pastas.
Her mum did most of the cooking in the home, including a quiche Parker remembers to this day.
“I went to high school underweight, and it’s because I had to make sure that they were fed … my youngest [siblings], at least,” she says.
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She was 12 when she was first placed into foster care and the pain of being separated from her siblings conflicted with her relief at the variety of food she was presented with.
“There was a lot of variety of food. There was veggies, there was fruit, there was bread. There was always food,” she says.
Parker recalls feeling “a bit panicked, thinking if I don’t eat right now, I feel like I wasn’t gonna eat that night or the next day.”
Her second, more permanent placement was also filled with a variety of foods she struggled to control herself around, with Parker explaining she had never been taught how to eat properly.
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“Like, what can you eat that’s still OK, but if you want to be ‘naughty’, how much are you allowed to eat to be enjoying that ‘naughty’ food and still be OK later on?” she says.
“I had no lessons in that.”
She loved her foster family and was surprised by the expectation she’d move out once she reached the age of 18.
“That’s just life, I suppose,” she reflected.
Thankfully Parker had already met her future husband, Michael, in high school. She counts herself lucky to have met the love of her life so early on.
The couple welcomed a son, Mason, now 12.
It was when Mason was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) that Sarah first thought she too may be autistic.
One of her siblings is also on the spectrum.
She admits she was “in denial” about Mason’s challenges at first.
It was her husband’s parents who first suggested Mason may be autistic.
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“Then when we found out that he had it, I was very upset, thinking I should have dealt with this better, but I would never change that for the world,” Sarah says.
“He’s just an amazing kid.”
Mason is “really good at sports” and football in particular. He attends school in a support unit in which he has “flourished.”
“He loves playing his games. He loves people. He just loves people. He’s got my sense of humour, I know that. He’s a smart boy, he really is,” she says.
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Sarah says identifying as autistic has helped her make sense of her life.
“I was the way I am because of this,” she says.
Sarah struggled with her weight throughout her life after experiencing food scarcity as a child and then being given access to plentiful food in foster care, explaining it took her a long time to learn “how to eat.”
It wasn’t until 2023 when she began working with a trainer that she was able to improve her health.
“I feel like, you know, I’m in more control of it,” she says.
Her most recent achievement is being chosen to be a part of the Victorian All Abilities netball team, having returned to the sport to improve her social circle. She considers her netball team her “new special friends I call family.”
It was her coach who told her she was good enough to join the Victorian All Abilities team.
“My coach decided that I should give it a go, and I thought, ‘You know what? I might as well give it a try’, because that was the goal.”
She says being chosen was “very overwhelming” and her husband was “absolutely excited” for her, as was her family.
“My husband was absolutely excited and said that I really deserved to be chosen,” she says.
“Mason, he was very excited that I got chosen because he doesn’t quite understand everything yet.
“But he’s just more happy that I’m more active and willing to want to play with him as much as I can.”
If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue. In the event of an emergency call Triple Zero (000).
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